SHARIA LAW crept into my neighborhood this week when I noticed Applebee’s latest attempt to appease the cultural marxists: something called a HUMMUS PLATE.
I didn’t know what this new item was so I asked our server and uncovered the shocking truth that our neighborhood bar and grill is now serving up heaping portions of anti-American HATE.
The table full of liberal sheep next to me tried to calm down my shouting by saying it’s “just one item on Applebee’s menu” but let me ask you this: if I offered you a plate of Applebee’s classic Salsa Verde Beef Nachos and told you one of the chips was poison, would you dig in?
No, because you hate poison and love America.
This hummus plate is just the first smooth, beige wave in ISIS’s war on our American heritage of affordable family friendly dining; next they’ll be making us gnaw on grape leaves like animals because, if you read the Quran, you’ll see they consider us Infidels “baba ghanoush” which is Arab for sub-human.
My grandfather didn’t eat Applebee’s quesadilla burgers every Friday until the day he died just for some terrorist sympathizing vegan snowflake to mash up some dirty old yellow beans and serve SHARIA LAW to me on a platter, that’s not the America I know.
It’s time to make a stand. I’m NOT going to let the grand American tradition of tortilla chips and dip be brought down by some burka wearing butthead. Let’s get #DeportHummus trending to show the politically correct appetizer appeasers that Applebee’s is still AMERICAN!
Until Applebee’s remembers that this is AMERICA, this patriot won’t be supporting their multiculturalism run amok. Sorry pop-pop’s ghost, but our Friday night quesadilla burgers will have to wait until we take our country back. From here on out, we are going to Panera: a place where bread bowl soups aren’t made out of goddamn pita.