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I Covered Myself In Tape So My Laptop Can’t Spy On Me Anymore

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Every God-fearing American has the right to privacy (It’s in the Constitution!) but that doesn’t stop COMMUNISTS, social justice HOMBRES, and FEMInazis from snooping in on us through our electronic devices.


THEY don’t care about your inalienable right to do whatever you want in your own home—especially if it involves not wearing pants!

I’m too smart for them, though. Since I’ve covered myself in tape, they can’t spy on me anymore!

There’s lots of paranoid libtards out there saying you should put a piece of tape on your laptop’s camera to stop the snooping. WOW- even libtards can be right on occasion!

But in classic lefty fashion, they don’t go far enough – why settle for a puny piece of Scotch tape when you can cover your entire body in that sticky manna from the gods?

Took me some time to find the right kind of tape, though.

Scotch is by far the best because while it doesn’t let THE GOVERNMENT look in, it is clear enough to let your eyeballs look out.

Duct tape is hard to breathe through and masking tape is just a joke.

A piece of friendly advice: DON’T USE DOUBLE-SIDED TAPE. Trust me on this. Just. DON’T.

They can’t steal my fingerprints through the keyboard, either, since I got my tips covered in Scotch. Sure, it’s hard to type with tape hands — but the price of freedom is never-ending vigilance.

HAND TAPE

I’d say “go ahead and laugh at my crinkly walk, liberals” but since I am permanently covered in tape and never leave the house, I am essentially invisible. The government will just have to imagine my hand getting stuck to the fridge because with my brilliant disguise, there is just no way for them to see it. Comments

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