Comic books are the last great American cultural export that hasn’t been SJW’d to death by the blue-haired and blue-balling feminist women of the left but they’ve finally given in: CAPTAIN AMERICA IS A GAY FROG.
For decades, when I bought a Marvel comic I knew I could count on a white guy doing awesome stuff entirely by himself and answering to no one, ESPECIALLY NOT THE GOVERNMENT (#TEAMIRONMAN).
So imagine my surprise when I go to the local comic store to purchase some HEROIC PATRIOTISM and I see the shelves stocked with a bunch of women, black people and worst of all, my beloved Captain America REPLACED BY A GODDAMN GAY FROG.
Captain America is supposed to stand for “Truth, Justice and the American Way” NONE OF WHICH A GAY FROG IS CAPABLE OF BECAUSE THEY ARE SINFUL BEASTS. You can’t just change Captain America to be whatever the hell you want it to be. It would be like suddenly deciding he was secretly a Nazi the whole time. REALITY DOESN’T CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS.
Now, before the PC Police come and an write me a ticket requiring me to buy a Roxane Gay book, let me make it clear I am totally fine with gay frogs playing a role in Marvel Comic books.
I’d gladly pay money to watch Aryan heroes like Iron Man, Thor, Hawkeye, Spider-Man, Doctor Strange, The Hulk (I could go on and on, there are so many glorious white heroes in the Marvel canon) go to town (IN A NON-SEXUAL WAY) on an army of gay frogs hellbent on destroying America. It would be more compelling than another goddamn arc about the Krell.
If gay frogs want to have a superhero, MAKE YOUR OWN. Don’t ruin decades of history just to push your SJW agenda, just start your own comic book franchise called Gay Frog Man or Adventures of the Magical Frogget or whatever.
Because comic books aren’t about cheap events that are naked publicity grabs to make money. Which is why I’m happy that at least Peter Parker will still be white when I see him in Spider-Man 7 this summer.