Frogs being gay is a CHOICE, and I can prove it.
You know me. I’m loving and compassionate. You do you, and don’t get in anyone’s way, and you’re fine by me. But you can’t convince me for one doomsday-preppin’ second that homosexuality in frogs is “natural.”
So let’s get into it.
Exhibit 1: The MALE FROG:
As you can see, the male frog leaves very little to be desired. It has a gross anus, legs that make me think of the French, and a variety of other flaws. How a male frog could be attracted to another male frog is BEYOND ME. Especially when you consider what’s available to the male frog in the opposite sex.
Exhibit 2: The FEMALE FROG:
Now I don’t like to be crass, but that’s a frog I could cuddle into the night with under the stars. Crack a bottle of my signature blackberry wine, lay out the blanket, play some ditties on my melodica. Really make it romantic. And hey, I’m not saying where the evening might take us, but I’m in for wherever it goes. I mean, just look at that anus. Look at how many eggs she can take to term in her hindquarters. And in this age of women doing everything they can to be just like men, it’s nice to see a girl who knows how to take care of her appearance. Not too much, just enough to show she still wants to feel pretty. She loves God, too. That’s the complete package.
Bringing it back to the beginning, manfrogs are gross. They just lack the delicate sensibility necessary to woo another manfrog. The only way you could resist a ladyfrog that pretty was if you DECIDED not too. So there you go, another case closed by Ben Brown.