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I have been worried SICK since Alex Jones broke the news about chemical water turning the friggin’ frogs gay. Mostly for AMERICA but also for ONE FROG IN PARTICULAR: Sweet Pepe.

Pepe is the most important frog (sorry, frog from the Sugar Smacks box, you will always be my friend). I have been unable to sleep, worrying IF PEPE IS SAFE FROM THE GAY FROG WATER. Is he? Most say yes, since he is a cartoon, but who can know for sure?

A noble cartoon frog BEING BADLY AND UNFAIRLY TURNED GAY BY NO-GOOD GOVERNMENT CHEMICALS wouldn’t be that nuts! Crazier conspiracies have happened: the moon landing, Pearl Harbor, the goblin-like birthday clown who mocked me by stealing and returning my nose.

If you are a scientist (a good one who knows the truth about our cooling planet) please please message me. I know cartoon water exists because of SPONGEBOB. What I need to know is if cartoon water can affect cartoon frogs??? HOW DO YOU PUT CHEMICALS IN CARTOON WATER? WE CAN’T EVEN USE JET FUEL TO MELT STEEL BEAMS.


The very absence of an answer is EVIDENCE IT MIGHT BE HAPPENING.

Until I get THE ANSWERS I NEED, I will be working hard keeping the wonderful Pepe safe! I will draw him with bottles of SAFE, DISTILLED (AMERICAN) WATER! Plus sometimes I will draw him wearing armor in the form of straight, hyper-hetero MAN outfits, like the uniform of a construction worker, naval officer, or even a mighty Indian war chief.

Pepe is the foundation of our modern political order. If Pepe becomes gay… EVERYTHING BECOMES GAY.

For more information about PRECIOUS FROG HEROES TURNING GAY follow on Facebook at Lizard People of NY or Twitter @realTruthBang. #GayFrogWeek


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