We all know that the water is turning the frogs gay. That’s science. All that info has come out. They brag about it. But now we’re learning how deep this goes.
Folks, independent research has lead us to believe — and no one else is reporting this — that the gay frogs (who were made that way by water) are working to not only turn other frogs gay, but now our children.
The way they do it? Leapfrog.
When I was a kid, leapfrog was a healthy american game for children. I remember playing it with friends, like Brian. Now, it’s been perverted by the liberal-endorsed gay frog lobby.
In my youth, young Brian and I would spend hours on the playground, leaping over each other, his beautiful blonde hair blowing in the wind. Now, the game is for Backlickers, closet Toad Boys, and the disgusting, slimy, green-skinned gay frog banditos.
I miss when America was my America. And leap frog was my leap frog. And Brian was my Brian.
Gay Frog money has been slowly seeping into each and every local school board election for years, just like the radioactive waves coming off of the cell phone you are reading this blog on right now. Now, that cancerous tumor of gay frog slime has metastasized, turning leapfrog into a gateway drug to full on, bareback thrusting.
That’s why I’ve pulled my son out of school and locked him in his room, where I know he is safe forever.