After PRIVATELY FUNDED research, it has been discovered that frogs have not become gay due to chemtrail pollution; the frogs have just gotten drunk and experimenting. This has been confirmed by hundreds of hours of study at the frog pond behind my aunt’s place.
I concluded that the frogs were smashed by observing their behavior. Instead of leaping high in the air over each other as leapfrog teaches us they do, the frogs were just stumbling about, sitting and staring forever, or making little WUSSY hops. Also they stuck their tongues out a lot, which anyone who’s been to a house party will tell you is something drunks are always doing.
In hindsight it should have been obvious. Those Budweiser frogs from the Super Bowl commercials (49ERS FUCK YEAH!) were clearly a sign that the frogs were connected to the secretly gay brewing industry. This is the sort of thing you learn about our gay corporate paymasters when you see them warts and all!
That or they know they can high by licking each other and then accidentally get gay in the process.
Also it makes sense because frogs, mice, rabbits, and all other small animals like that were put on this Earth to be used for science experiments. So experimenting is in their DNA! Only the bleeding heart LIBTARDS don’t know that!
All the information gathered from this is very positive. For one thing it means we won’t need any regulations that KILL JOBS because the chemicals aren’t doing the gay harm we thought they were doing. We also totally can’t hold it against Republican heroes who get found having sex with gay prostitutes because they were only drunk! You can’t hold that against them, just like you can’t hold it against a man when he gets drunk off the gay-inducing Budweiser cause it was the only beer left in the cooler!
And then he saw all the ALPHA MALES who would TOTALLY be his Bros once they got to know him! You can’t fucking blame him for he found fantasizing about what it would be like if he were alone with only one or two of them who knew how to keep their mouths shut and the mood were right! He’s still a GOD-FEARING patriot who loves his country more than anything else!
Only the treacherous DUMBOCRATS support the gays while they’re still sober!