If you—like a few old friends of mine—have been living alone in a rusted out 1986 Ford Taurus for decades, then let me bring you up to speed. Women have been increasingly complain-y about something called “EQUALITY.” Basically, FEMINISTS are saying men AND women should be equal…
Today I’m writing to let you everyone know I’ve devised an experiment to shut down this insane idea once and for all. I, a VIRILE PENIS-HAVING man, attempted to get WOMEN’S SERVICES from a WOMAN DOCTOR (“gynecologist” for my degreed readers).
Here are some of the things I tried:
Planned Parenthood is basically the Mecca (OH NO) of liberal female healthcare. The terrible organization nevertheless ADVERTISES SERVICES TO VULNERABLE MEN like STD and cancer screenings. HOWEVER, when I called them to ask about these “man services,” all they told me was “stop screaming.”
The next day I went to a local women’s clinic. Another equality sham. No matter how many times I asked, they WOULD NOT give me an abortion. Now, OBVIOUSLY I am against abortion (my view is that all women should have sex with me but also be punished for it), but I did this FOR SCIENCE. So much for men=women, eh?
Finally, I went to the office of a gynecologist and ran in with my penis in hand. AFTER EVERYONE FINISHED CLAPPING I was told there was nothing medical they could do for it. Okay maybe part of that one was made up, but I think what it tells up about women’s equality is still useful.
STRIKE THREE. ALRIGHT, EQUALITY, YOU’RE OUT.
Was there really any questions of this? If men and women have different doctors then how can they have SAME RIGHTS? It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and ADAM (this makes sense if you think about it!!) CHECKMATE, Feminists.