Let’s REALLY crack the lid open on THIS one: THE CLOTHES HIDING MY NUDE BODY.
The modesty (and regular) police have stepped in to shut down the art that is the human body. Yours truly, a sovereign citizen, has been arrested for indecent exposure. Well I say that it was perfectly decent, so decent that I am often complimented on it.
So, no, excuse YOU, officer! The sign says No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service… it speaks nothing about pants! I once saw a woman take her breast out in public and force a baby to suck on it! Now that is an affront to decency! What a double standard.
Sure, I may have been high on paint fumes from making a “Wake Up Sheeple” sign in my poorly ventilated garage when I went to Wal-Mart to buy more spray paint. And yes, I may have been kicked out of that Wal-Mart for, as the police report states, “rambling incoherently, trying to eat bird seed, and removing his sweatpants & underwear.” But that doesn’t give you the right to stop me from expressing myself!
I thought progressives believed in full expression of the human spirit? Hypocrites.
If I am perfectly free to text a photo of my genitals to anonymous women on Tinder I don’t know why I can’t give them a live show as they load groceries into their Prius. I thought we, as a culture, don’t see gender anymore? So how could the physical expression of my gender possibly offend anyone when technically it was invisible to Liberal eyes?
I yelled at them to explain that but nobody would look at me. Cowards.
This is all a liberal witch hunt! The nazi’s that run my town have been waiting for me to slip up even in the slightest. I bet if I was a black transgendered lesbian the workers at Subway would have applauded when I pressed my naked ass against their window.
And to the college girls who laughed at me before my arrest I will have you know that the human body is a beautiful thing, no matter what shape and size.
Why else would Dove make those small shampoo bottles if not to celebrate my penis?