DUMB LIBERALS: How Can NASA Find ALIENS If They Can’t Even Find FUNDING?

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HAHAHAHA sorry liberal scientists, but if you can’t even find funding for NASA, how are you supposed to find LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS?!

I have hated NASA with a burning passion ever since those bastards had the GALL to lie to us about the moon landing when they can’t even find the ALIEN LIZARD PEOPLE who run the world. So you know what? I’m actually pretty darn happy that they are losing all of their funding.

Now NASA is claiming that they have found 7 Earth-sized planets orbiting a star 40 light years away. First of all, the only years I abide by are EARTH years and DOG years because I am an American patriot. Second of all, I don’t trust these dopey “educated” cucks to find a whole bunch of planets when they can’t even find a number next to a dollar sign.

Finding planets needs to be the work of private freethinkers and individual researchers who actually KNOW what they are doing. My buddy Tom has been hosting a Geocities website about extraterrestrials since the early 1990’s so if I don’t see a new animated gif of a little green alien spinning and waving on his homepage, I KNOW there isn’t any credible new information out there.

Furthermore, space exploration should be done entirely by the PRIVATE SECTOR. Could you imagine if one of these broke NASA “scientists” stumbled across an alien and scared it off by rattling his tin cup and asking for change? Embarrassing!

Space exploration should only be done by someone LOADED. Someone dripping with wealth. Someone with a gold spacesuit.  Someone who was on Mars only because it was on his way to his mansion in beautiful Florida.

Perhaps space should only be explored by our dear leader Donald J. Trump. 

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