EXPOSED: Me In The Wal-Mart Parking Lot

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Let’s REALLY crack the lid open on THIS one: THE CLOTHES HIDING MY NUDE BODY.

The modesty (and regular) police have stepped in to shut down the art that is the human body. Yours truly, a sovereign citizen, has been arrested for indecent exposure. Well I say that it was perfectly decent, so decent that I am often complimented on it.

So, no, excuse YOU, officer! The sign says No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service… it speaks nothing about pants! I once saw a woman take her breast out in public and force a baby to suck on it! Now that is an affront to decency! What a double standard.

Sure, I may have been high on paint fumes from making a “Wake Up Sheeple” sign in my poorly ventilated garage when I went to Wal-Mart to buy more spray paint. And yes, I may have been kicked out of that Wal-Mart for, as the police report states, “rambling incoherently, trying to eat bird seed, and removing his sweatpants & underwear.” But that doesn’t give you the right to stop me from expressing myself!

I thought progressives believed in full expression of the human spirit? Hypocrites.


If I am perfectly free to text a photo of my genitals to anonymous women on Tinder I don’t know why I can’t give them a live show as they load groceries into their Prius. I thought we, as a culture, don’t see gender anymore? So how could the physical expression of my gender possibly offend anyone when technically it was invisible to Liberal eyes?

I yelled at them to explain that but nobody would look at me. Cowards.

This is all a liberal witch hunt! The nazi’s that run my town have been waiting for me to slip up even in the slightest. I bet if I was a black transgendered lesbian the workers at Subway would have applauded when I pressed my naked ass against their window.

And to the college girls who laughed at me before my arrest I will have you know that the human body is a beautiful thing, no matter what shape and size.

Why else would Dove make those small shampoo bottles if not to celebrate my penis?

For more information about EXPOSING LIES (AND PENISES), follow on Facebook at Lizard People of NY or Twitter @realTruthBang.


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